Thought about suicide. Again.
Not of my own . . . not that the thought's never crossed my mind, but no. I got news that my short story, Forsaken, was accepted by Untreed Reads Publishing. Naturally, I beamed but then recalled the story's subject and again, I remembered the suicide of a young man barely out of his teenage years. When this youth's untimely death came back to me all these years later, I fashioned a story from the memories. This was months ago.
The incident, actually, happened eleven and a half years ago. Such terrible loss . . .
Couldn't help but think, maybe all it would've taken to change the course of history, to talk that boy off that high-rise ledge, to even know he was heading up there in the first place, may have been as simple as picking up the phone when you recognized the young man's number on the caller I. D. Maybe. What ifs suck, sometimes.
Sadly, suicide is one of the most common issues GLBT youth deal with. I have a friend who, as a tender youth, discovered she was Lesbian . . . Being raised Southern Baptist and being Lesbian didn't play out in her mind. Out came the pills, the razor blades, and the booze. If I recall correctly, she was stopped only by a vision of her younger sister crying in agony. Unfortunately, the young man, who I also knew, didn't have anyone or anything to stop him from carrying out his most desperate plea.
He tried to reach out, seek help, seek some sort of comfort, after realizing he was gay. But he was shunned by family, friends, and even a few in the GLBT community he approached. "I-I thought he was coming on to--I didn't realize, he just needed someone to listen, affirm. . ." That was the reasoning, I was told.
Would've, should've, could've--not trying to push the blame on anyone. Hell, I'm probably just as guilty for I too didn't recognize the signs, when around him. We can't change what's done.
Wouldn't it be awesome though, if each one of us had someone there, a guardian angel perhaps, to help us in such a time of need? But that's wishful thinking. Though times have changed and people are far more accepting of the GLBT community, still, more often than not, GLBT youth succumb to suicidal thoughts. And more often than not, it is because they are forsaken by everyone around them . . . or at least, they feel as if they are.
In fiction, well, that's a whole different story. Literally. Having the incident come back to me during the Winter holidays, I chose to tackle the issue . . . but from a different angle, through the eyes of a guardian angel; and as with fiction, I gave my story a fairytale ending. Forsaken will be out this month at Untreed Reads Publishing. I invite you to check it out.
Bryl R. Tyne is a wrangler by nature and a writer by choice, published with Noble Romance Publishing, Ravenous Romance, Dreamspinner Press, STARbooks Press, and Untreed Reads Publishing. You can find out more about Bryl at: bryltyne.com
This post is X-posted to The Rainbow Studio, Bryl R Tyne's Blog, and Defying Description.
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